Choices
by novice242
Summary: 5 years ago, Rachel chose fame over Puck. She finally realized she made the wrong choice. Is she too late? AU Future Fic. Written for Support Stacie Author Auction. Part 3 of 3. In which we learn what life will bring for Puck and Rachel.
1. The Wrong Choice

**A.N.** This fic is the product of the Support Stacie Author Auction. Thanks to **24jls** who placed the winning bid on me and provided the entire basis of this story—in fact, more than 600 words of details and links to songs, speech, etc. Thus, much of words used in this story came from her emails with me. So the result is a collaboration in which I am doing my best to bring these ideas to life. My main deviation is the flashback, but she contributed a great sequence to that scene too. I hope everyone enjoys this writing experiment!

The song played in this chapter is "Where You Want to Be" by Darren Hayes. You can find it on youtube with this address at the end: /watch?v=rc0qlvdd-t4

The speech Rachel hears is based on the recent Golden Globe speech by Mo'nique.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, song lyrics, or anything familiar.

***

_Are you where you want to be?  
Did you get there easily?  
Did they make you sacrifice?  
Did you make a sharp left  
When you should've turned right?_

Darren Hayes—"Where You Want to Be"

***

Five years ago, Rachel Berry made a choice. The obvious choice. The right choice for her career.

During her junior year of college, she chose fame over the boy she'd been dating since March of their junior year of high school. Not that she ever informed the man in question that she'd been struggling with a life-altering decision. Well, not directly at least.

*** Five years earlier ***

Although Noah Puckerman and Rachel Berry survived their high school romance in tact to continue dating seriously in college, it was anything but smooth sailing.

It was really great for awhile. They stayed in Ohio—going to Ohio State—close to family and friends. Puck formed a college band right away with some new guys he met, and Rachel became active in the theatre department productions and the OSU school of music. Still, they had always talked about transferring to New York University once Puck saved up enough to afford it so that Rachel would have a real shot at pursuing her dreams of landing a role on Broadway. But they were never acting on it. And by their junior year of college, Rachel knew it was getting too late. So she went ahead and sent in her application forms, hoping to transfer during the spring semester and have all of senior year in New York. Ideally, with Noah by her side.

Rachel was anything but subtle usually, but over the years she had found that she got better results with Noah if she could subtly hint at things before finally convincing him that he wanted to act on her idea all along. So since sophomore year of college, she would drop hints about how great an environment New York would be for an aspiring musician such as himself; how many opportunities they'd both have there; even about how great the hot dogs were in New York—she was a desperate woman. He'd nod and agree with her, and then complain about how expensive it was to live in New York, and how tiny the apartments are, and how comfortable it is in Ohio, and how they could always move to New York after graduation. But that wasn't Rachel's dream and it wasn't the deal she thought they had. He would flash her a grin and say something simple like, "C'mere, sexy," and her objections would be kissed away. She was a little miffed at herself for being so powerless to his charms.

But she loved the big lug. She really did. She thought he loved her too, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. If he loved her, wouldn't he want to support her goals? Rachel had a nagging fear that he would never want to leave Ohio.

Then there were the fraternity parties he played with the band that caused arguments regularly. Rachel was perfectly fine with her boyfriend playing in a band in front of loads of drunk girls. Fine. He would say that he was a stud and couldn't help it that girls threw themselves at him—and she would grudgingly admit that he was probably right. She actually did trust him to behave himself.

But on this particular occasion, he was gone later than usual—the kind of late that usually meant he would end up not coming home. Even though it was only Wednesday night instead of a Friday or Saturday. It was final exam week, but instead of studying, Noah and his band had one last frat party to play before the end of the semester. Rachel learned this when she got his message after she finished her last exam that day. Her boyfriend had not perfected the technique of giving her advanced notice of his plans. So she hadn't seen him since she kissed him goodbye that morning while he slept. Rachel really needed to talk to him because her acceptance to NYU had come in the mail that week and she truly wanted to accept the offer. The deadline to accept was approaching, and orientation and class registration for the spring semester had already started, so the sooner she could go register, the better classes she would have. Rachel had called him several times, left several increasingly upset messages on his phone, and she had paced around their shared apartment more times than she could count.

Rachel turned on the tv out of boredom and flipped through the channels until she found something watchable. The classic "It's a Wonderful Life" was on, and Rachel settled down on the couch for a long movie and what promised to be a long night of waiting for Noah to come home. As she watched, Rachel couldn't help but think about her future and wonder if she could be like George, who had given up his dreams for the sake of family. Could she be happy without resenting the circumstances (and people) leading to that dream dying? Rachel knew she needed to break free from her depressing thoughts, so she called home for a little diversion. Her dad answered the phone, "Hi sweetie, I was just thinking of calling you."

Perfect, Rachel thought. Instant distraction was just what she needed. "Oh really? Did you have something to tell me?"

"Well, we heard some good news about your former teacher, Will Schuester from the glee club. He and and his wife are going to have a baby! She was your guidance counselor, right?"

"Yes, that's right. What lovely news, Daddy. Thanks for telling me." If Rachel's dad picked up on her somber mood, he didn't mention it. They chatted idly for a while longer, but Rachel's mind was elsewhere. The news about Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury made Rachel think about how Mr. Schue had first married his high school sweetheart, Terri. That disaster had ended in such a messy divorce. And it was just one of many examples which showed how unlikely it is for high school couples to stay together long after high school ends.

As Rachel finished her phone call with her dad, she assured him she'd have a safe drive home and would see him after finals week. She didn't tell him that she was finished with her exams and was just waiting for Noah to finish his because she wanted to spend every possible minute with him in their little apartment before they went "home" to their parents' houses for winter break.

With thoughts of her past and future swirling in her mind, Rachel launched into making a pros and cons list for transferring to NYU. She had been waiting for Noah's input, but she decided since he wasn't there, he wasn't getting to help. Perhaps her list might have turned out differently if she had watched the end of the holiday movie or if she had waited just a while longer…

Instead, Rachel turned off the tv and concentrated on her list. From her reflections, she came to several conclusions. First, she needed to focus on what was important to her. If Noah didn't support her, then maybe he was not be the right one after all. This was one of her deepest fears. She was afraid that her first love might not be her true love. Perhaps they were both too young to know any better. If he didn't love her, truly love her the way she needed to be loved, then what was she doing wasting away in Ohio? It was then she decided to go forward, to accept the offer at NYU, to transfer schools.

She realized that it might be now or never. He wasn't there, and if she waited, she didn't think she'd go through with it. Rachel made the hardest decision she had ever faced: the decision to leave Noah.

She gave him fair warning. He just didn't take her seriously.

Puck woke up after crashing at the frat house following the gig that had gotten a little out of hand. He knew Rachel would have been worried sick and crazy-mad since he hadn't called before passing out on one of the couches. He was expecting that. He knew he deserved the tongue-lashing that was about to occur because he had acted like an idiot as usual. But when he got to their apartment and announced, "Slap the cuffs on me, Berry, I'm home," he wasn't expecting what he found. Or really, what he didn't find.

Rachel was gone. Like really gone. He actually looked around the whole apartment in disbelief, but the bedroom was what gave it away. Her stuff was gone. The furniture was there, but all her clothes, shoes, and the rest of her crap—all gone. They had moved out of the dorms and had gotten an apartment together off campus only at the start of the fall semester that year. And living together was awesome. Like the best decision ever. Sure, at first the idea at freaked him the fuck out; but after Rachel had convinced him of the convenience of the arrangement, he had learned that the girl was a full-on genius. The benefits of living together were too many to list. He wasn't really sure what he'd been scared of in the first place. It's not like he wanted to be with other girls or anything stupid like that. It was just at first the idea of living together meant that marriage might be around the corner… Not that he couldn't imagine marrying Rachel—because scarily enough, he really, really could imagine it.

But as he stumbled around in his stupor, he realized that none of that mattered now because she had taken off while he had been piss drunk at a stupid party that he didn't even care about. At all.

He spotted the note she left on the coffee table—which is where they ate most of their meals in front of the tv. At first, he felt a surge of hope that something in the letter would help him make sense of the empty apartment. Like there was an emergency at home and she had to leave school early. Not that he wanted her to have a family emergency. He didn't know what he wanted the note to say. But he didn't want it to say what she had written there for him.

Rachel told him everything. Not in person, but in the tear-stained letter. He couldn't read all of it because her tears had smeared the ink. But he got the idea. She couldn't give up on her dreams if he didn't truly love her. And if he did love her, shouldn't he want what's best for her? She decided that what was best for her meant Broadway and New York. She apologized for her abrupt departure and promised that her dads would send him checks to pay the rent until he could find a new roommate.

(Because seriously, only she would put practical details like that in a fucking Dear John letter. Fuck!)

Rachel wrote that she loved him, but that she felt their relationship was slowly killing a part of her that she wanted to survive.

When he read her letter, Noah Puckerman knew he made the wrong choice.

Immediately, regret gripped him like a cold vice around his guts. He had something special with Rachel, and he took it for granted. _Rachel_ was special, she was really talented, and he was fooling himself to think that it was fair for him to keep her from her dreams when she made it so obvious that she really wanted to be in New York. He desperately needed to apologize, to make it all right, but he had to finish his damn final exams before he could go home for Christmas break. Needless to say, he didn't do well on his remaining exams. He probably should've just skipped them. But he thought he'd be able to talk to Rachel at her dads' house during the three week vacation before spring semester so they could figure something out.

When he got back to Lima and went to her house, her dads told him that she had already moved to New York and that it would be best if he left her alone because she was hurting enough. And that shit fucking killed him—to think of how badly she was hurting.

Puck soon discovered that Rachel had cut off all contact with him—she changed her cell phone number, email address, everything. He could still find her online profile pages, but she had changed his status so they were no longer friends or in a relationship. She had been a constant in his life for so long, and suddenly she was gone.

To be fair, Rachel knew she wouldn't go through with leaving if she would have talked to him in person. And she knew she would never stick to her plans to live in New York and audition for everything remotely fitting if she kept any form of communication between herself and Noah. So she left. Without leaving a trace.

Rachel Berry made the wrong choice.

She just didn't know it at the time. Well, maybe a part of her knew it, but she wouldn't let that weak, romantic girl inside of her deter her from pursuing her life-long dream of becoming a star. That was her destiny. Romance is fleeting. And how many people can really live happily ever after with a high school boyfriend? The odds were against her and Noah as a couple. They were a cliché really: the artistic good girl with the bad boy jock. There were countless teen movies centered around such couples. That certainly did not improve the chances of success. Rachel knew, and her fathers agreed, that if she focused solely on her goals, she had an above average chance of successfully achieving her dreams of stardom.

On that front, Rachel Berry was right.

*** Present Day ***

Five years since she left Noah, she was a rising star with a successful Broadway career and was now Oscar-nominated for her leading role in her first movie. Rachel Berry was sitting at the Academy Awards ceremony, listening to the winner for Best Supporting Actress give a heartfelt speech. The actress had a beautiful story about how she married her childhood sweetheart. At age 14 she had told him 'we're gonna be stars' and he had said,'baby, you first'. That's when Rachel began to think about her lost love with Noah Puckerman.

But it was the most inopportune time, really. Not that she expected to win her category and give a speech, but she was seated next to her _date_. The date her manager/publicist had picked for her. Just like all her other "boyfriends", the "relationship" was mostly for the sake of mutual benefit. Rachel didn't mind. Too much. It was a price she paid for success. She had already chosen success over love once. Still, it was a little awkward to be thinking of her high school sweetheart while sitting next to her attractive date, Anthony. He was the son of two Hollywood A-listers, and he was trying to make a name for himself. They got along well enough. He might even like her a little for real. But Rachel Berry had been ruined—no man could compare to her first love, Noah.

Rachel was pulled out of her reverie by the pats on the back, the sweeping hug by Anthony. "Congratulations," he told her in her ear, "You really did it!" She kissed him in shock and delight, and made her way to the stage in a daze.

She actually won and it was completely surreal. She gave the speech that she'd been preparing since she was six years old. She knew it wasn't as emotional as the other speeches that evening, but the rush of the moment caused her to temporarily forget her thoughts about Noah.

The rest of the night was pretty amazing. Interviews with the press, the after party, everyone fawning over her, a gorgeous guy on her arm. What more could a girl want?

The limo driver dropped off Anthony at his house in the hills after Rachel had insisted that she couldn't stay with him that night. She didn't have a house in Hollywood because her primary residence was in New York. She was just in California for the award show and for short stints to make the movie—though now that she won, her agent said to expect more movies to come her way. (Anthony had a home in Hollywood and a great condo in New York since he had the luxury of wealthy parents, so she'd see him again in New York for some strategically publicized dates.) Rachel just really wanted to relax by herself that night in the hotel. Alone, she leaned back in the seat, kicked off her shoes, and played with the radio dial. She stopped when a song caught her attention. The voice on the radio sounded familiar, but she couldn't place the artist.

_Hey there stranger  
Do you remember?  
You were a part of my life  
Early December  
Think I remember?  
Sentiment cuts like a knife  
The seasons are changing  
Life's rearranging  
Full of could've dones  
Would've beens  
It's all your fault  
And where have you been  
And how time goes  
And now I don't even know  
How to fill in the spaces  
of the love you erased in my life_

_Are you where you want to be?  
Did you get there easily?  
Did they make you sacrifice?  
Did you make a sharp left  
When you should've turned right?  
Are you where you want to be?  
Did you sell off all of your gold  
Did you trade it in?  
Did you wait for love  
Or settle for somebody to hold?..._

The song continued and the lyrics spoke to her heart. Maybe she didn't have to make the choice that she did all those years ago. The urge to see Noah Puckerman took hold of her, and she whipped her cell phone out of her purse and called her dads. By this time, it was very early on Monday morning in Ohio, and her sleepy but excited father answered the phone. He had to wake up for work soon anyway, so he put on a pot of coffee and woke up his partner so they could both talk to their daughter. After the obligatory chatting about her award, Rachel took a deep breath and announced the real reason behind her call.

"Daddy, I've been thinking about what's important to me, and there's something I have to do. I need to find Noah. When you talk to Mrs. Puckerman, does she mention how he's doing and where he lives now?"

Rachel heard her dad inhale sharply—she knew her question had surprised him. Her father said, "I have a feeling that I won't be able to persuade you not to pursue this, so I suppose I will just tell you what you want to know."

"Thank you, Daddy. You're right; you won't be able to dissuade me. I'm stubborn like you."

Her father told her that Noah was doing well according to his mother and had moved to Nashville after he graduated from OSU. But he didn't have an address or phone number. "I could find out next week at Temple," he told her.

"Any contact information you can get would be great, thanks, Daddy."

But after she ended the call with her father, Rachel still felt anxious. She didn't want to wait until next week. She wanted to go _now_. She already had a driver who could take her to the airport… So she asked the driver to make a quick stop at her hotel so she could gather her things and then take her to LAX. She would take the first flight out.

And in a flash, Rachel Berry, now Oscar-winning actress, was on her way to track down her old flame in Nashville, Tennessee.


	2. Multiple Choice

**A.N.** This fic is the product of the Support Stacie Author Auction. Thanks to **24jls** who placed the winning bid on me and provided the entire basis of this story, including the Tin Pan South Music Festival which is a real event!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar. I've taken liberties with music to assume that Puck is a song writer. (I can't get Mark Salling to do some original songs for this fic, so we'll have to pretend that songs by other artists are from him, ok?) Partial lyrics in this chapter (shown in italics) come from "Falling In Love" by Lisa Loeb (best in acoustic version from Lilith Fair, but can't find that easily online, so studio version on youtube will have to do): /watch?v=wanj-HCnRnc. "Where You Want to Be" by Darren Hayes makes another appearance, so here's that link if you're so inclined: / watch?v=rc0qlvdd-t4.

...

Five years ago, Noah Puckerman knew he had made some wrong choices in his life. And that knowledge combined with the inability to really do anything about it almost killed him. He turned to an old stand-by to help him cope with his loss: alcohol. It was pretty easy to get drunk even before he turned 21, considering that he had a standing invitation at many of the campus frat houses despite the fact that he had never pledged. He couldn't really afford to be in a frat and he much preferred living with Rachel in their apartment compared to the idea of living with a bunch of dudes. But in the spring semester of junior year he was alone, in _their_ apartment. He couldn't stand it.

He couldn't stand seeing the emptiness. He couldn't stand hearing the silence.

So he left. He went out every night. His grades went to shit. He couldn't study or concentrate in class. Sometimes he didn't even bother to go to class. He thought about dropping out and just kickin' it with the band, but even his band-mates were starting to get on his case about always wanting to play 'fuckin' morose-ass songs'—because that was college for you—dudes pairing words like _morose_ with _fuck_ and shit like that. It's not that Puck didn't know that the guys were right. Of course _morose-ass_ songs weren't exactly what the frat party crowd wanted to hear. He just couldn't bring himself out of his depression.

It didn't take long for his grades to plummet to the point at which he was in danger of being kicked out of school. He was on academic probation. He'd just turned 21, and Rachel wasn't there to celebrate with him or to stop him from going out to the nearest bar and getting completely shit-faced. She still had his number, even though he didn't have hers. Did she call him? Did she reach out to him? No.

Was he going to sit around in his empty apartment feeling sorry for himself?

_Fuck no_.

He was going to go sit alone in a packed bar and feel sorry for himself.

Whatever. There's a difference.

Looking back on it, going to The Corner Pub might have been his first good decision in a while. If only because that's where he met _her_.

It just happened that the only empty seat at the bar was next to a beautiful girl. In fact, when Puck first grabbed the stool, he didn't even notice her. But the situation changed quickly. He ordered a shot of Jack and a beer, and that's when he heard the girl next to him speak up.

"Another gin and tonic, Ray," she said. Puck could hear the sadness in her voice. That's really what made him turn to look at her.

"You sound morose as fuck," he started to say, pleased to use his new vocabulary word from his high-brow friends. Then he gasped, "Shit, who did that to you?" he asked the girl. She had tried to cover the bruise on her jaw with her hair and some make-up, but it was still visible. And swollen. Otherwise, the black-haired beauty was breathtaking. She reminded him a little of Santana, which was good. If she had reminded him of another girl, he would have been in big trouble that night.

The girl looked back at him with her large dark eyes, "So it's still that obvious, huh?" She pulled out a little mirror from her purse. "Shit," she muttered. "Fuckin' asshole. I think it's getting worse. I guess I better go ice it down some more." She started to pull some bills out of her purse as she rose from her seat.

"So someone really hit you?" He grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. He saw her wince and he realized she had bruises there too. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He pulled away. A memory of his mother covering up her own bruises from his abusive father flashed through his mind. "Nobody deserves that shit," he glowered.

She regarded him skeptically. "Listen, this gallant act you've got going isn't gonna get you anywhere with me. Obviously, I have some issues with men right now, and I'm not interested. So if you'll excuse me…"

"Wait, are you in trouble or something?" This time Puck just touched her hand gently so he didn't hurt her. But his other hand was clenching with anger at the thought of the asshole who did this to her. It didn't help that he was also picturing his deadbeat dad and his own poor mother who always tried to be tough as nails. "I know we don't know each other, but I'm a big wreck myself since my girlfriend left me. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I could probably be of use kicking the hell out of the bastard who would… My dad used to…" Puck was furious and couldn't even finish a sentence. He shook his head and took a huge swallow of beer.

The girl's eyes softened. She seemed to be able to tell that he was genuinely concerned and not just trying to get laid. "That's really sweet of you. Misguided, but sweet. I don't need more violence in my life, but thank you for your concern. I'm Christina, by the way."

"I'm Puck. Well, Noah Puckerman, but friends call me Puck." He extended his hand and she shook it.

Christina scoffed a little with amusement. "You seem to have an interesting story too, Puck. But I really do need to get some ice on this so I don't look like a mutated chipmunk or something tomorrow."

Puck chuckled at the image. "Right, well, good to meet you, Christina. Just one thing. I wanted to make sure the guy who hit you isn't gonna be wherever it is you're going to go. I could either come with you or you could get some ice and hang out at my place while you figure out your next move. No funny business, I swear."

Again, Christina regarded him critically as she made her decision. She sighed. "Actually, that would be really nice of you. Because you're right, he knows all the places I would try to go that aren't home."

"Let me close out my tab," Puck said.

"Just in case this is still all part of an elaborate act, I want to inform you that I have pepper spray, and I will use it," Christina threatened.

Puck chuckled again. "Noted. And good. I'm glad you have some form of protection. Not from me. I mean, you don't need to worry about needing protection from me." Puck fumbled with the words to explain himself.

Christina let out a musical little laugh. She started to speak, then closed her mouth. A bad joke with sexual innuendos about _protection_ had crossed her mind. She didn't want to go there.

"What?" asked Puck.

"I changed my mind about what I was going to say. It was completely inappropriate. Instead of what I was about to say, let me just say, thank you. You're really quite the gentleman."

Puck smirked. He thought that he'd been called a lot of things, but a gentleman wasn't usually at the top of the list. He decided that if he said it out loud, it would sound too sexual, so he didn't say anything. See? He was growing.

Too bad Rachel couldn't see that.

Too bad he couldn't see Rachel.

Puck's lips turned downward as sadness washed over him again.

Still, he felt like he was on a bit of a mission. Someone needed to keep this girl safe from her abuser. He had been a little too young to really protect his mom—though he had tried. And eventually the asshole left. Puck got a sense of purpose out of his random meeting at The Pub; it was a welcome distraction.

And that's how things began between Christina Soriano and Noah Puckerman. He ended up protecting her from her abusive boyfriend. She ended up stopping him from drinking himself to death and dropping out of school. It was a relationship that worked to their mutual benefit. In more ways than they would have guessed in the beginning.

*** Present Day ***

"Puck, I think we need a break."

"C'mon, Chris. We're _this_ close to something, I can tell."

"No, I'm tapped out. We've been working on the chorus for hours! I just wanna take a break from writing this song. It's emotionally draining to write about our failed relationships from the past. You know…the Oscars are on now…can't we just go watch the end?" Christina gave a little pout to add to her plea. Puck knew this was a losing battle. If he pushed her, she'd just whine and they wouldn't get any work done anyway.

"Fine, we'll watch your stupid awards show. I'll make popcorn."

Christina squealed and gave him a quick hug before settling down on the couch and turning on the tv. As Puck put the bag in the microwave, he remembered why he didn't want to watch this with Chris. With anyone. Maybe they'd missed the Best Actress category…

They hadn't.

In fact, Puck was just in time to see the announcement of Rachel's name and the camera shot of her kissing some dark-haired douchebag sitting next to her. Ok, he didn't look that bad, but he was a douchebag for sure. Puck could tell. Like all those Hollywood types. But Rachel, she looked…amazing. She looked the same except her hair was straighter and shinier than what he remembered. Her figure was slammin'. And her face was glowing. Except her eyes. Puck thought he could see some sadness there, which was unexpected considering the moment she was having on tv in front of him.

Apparently, he grunted or something out loud because Chris turned to him. "What? What was that for?"

"Nothing. I just used to know her that's all," Puck mumbled.

"Really?! You knew Rachel Berry?! That's incredible! Why didn't you tell me before? Like when all the Oscar hype started? You never said, 'Oh, by the way, I know that girl.' You're usually not a modest guy, so why keep this to yourself?"

Puck scoffed at being called out for not being modest. "Oh, thanks, Chris. I guess we're not partners for nothing—you sure tell it like it is and put me in my place."

Christina shoved him playfully. "Damn right. Now quit avoiding the question."

Puck smirked, "Who me?"

"Yes, you! How do you know this Oscar-winner? And why didn't you mention it?"

"Like I was just supposed to go around bragging that I went to high school with someone who became a huge success while I'm here struggling away with you in Nashville?"

"Yes! Yes, you were!" Christina exclaimed wide-eyed. "Wow, I'm so jealous! So how well did you know her?"

"Not well," Puck lied. But it came out casually, especially when he sprinkled the lie with some truth. "We ran in different circles. I was a jock. She was a gleek. A glee club geek, I mean."

Christina nodded as she appraised the physique of the man seated next to her. "Yeah, I could see that."

"But look who came out on top," Puck said self-deprecatingly.

"Aw, don't be like that—we're doing ok, Puckerman. You're always ragging on how much Hollywood sucks and how great the atmosphere is in Nashville, so you can't tell me that's the life you'd rather have! You've got that radio song that gets played. And you know we're going to kill at Tin Pan South this week!"

"Speaking of the music festival, shouldn't we get back to working on that song?" Puck elbowed Chris none-too-subtly.

"Fine, fine. I missed the end of the awards anyway talking to you about your big, _disappointing_ secret."

So the fellow singer-songwriters went back to work while Puck thought about his big disappointing secret.

...

When Rachel's flight arrived in Nashville, she really had no idea what to do next. She decided she needed to procure a hotel first, but she hadn't called ahead to make reservations. One movie and she'd already gotten used to the perks of having "people" who perform such tasks for her. She got into a cab at the airport terminal and asked the driver to take her to a good hotel downtown.

"Can ya' be more specific, Ma'am?" the driver asked.

"Not really," Rachel said honestly. "I have no idea what I'm doing here or where I'm going. Can you just take me somewhere reputable near good music venues?"

"Sure thing. There's a music festival goin' on. You here for that? Wanna stay near some of those places?"

"Yes, I would, thank you," Rachel said brightly. Maybe she'd see Noah at the music festival. Rachel guessed that he had come to Nashville to continue to pursue music, though she admitted to herself she was hurt that he hadn't chosen to do so in New York instead. But she realized that her actions surely hurt him deeply. She regretted the rash decision she had made all those years ago. The regret and anxiety coiled in her stomach. She had no idea what she could do to make this right, but she knew she had to do something.

After Rachel checked into the hotel, she decided to find out what this music festival was all about—and fortunately, the concierge was very gracious when she asked him. He even pulled out a flyer for the event. When Rachel studied the flyer, she found Noah's name and saw that he was scheduled to play—at that very moment. She asked the concierge to call her a cab, and he pointed across the street. "No cab needed, Ma'am."

Rachel walked into the bar where Noah Puckerman was advertised to be playing. And there he was on the stage playing his guitar in the middle of a song. Rachel's breath hitched involuntarily at the sight of him. He looked as good (or better) than she remembered. His hair was close-cropped, but longer than it had been in college, and the jeans and dark t-shirt he wore showed that he was still in exceptional physical condition. Rachel found herself blushing as she stared at him while memories they had together came flooding back.

But a beautiful, willowy girl was there on stage too and Rachel disconcertedly took in her long legs and perfect silhouette. She was standing in front of one microphone with her eyes scanning the crowd, while he was seated on a stool. Rachel caught a glimpse of Noah's amber-green eyes before he closed them as he sang along with the girl who took the lead vocals. It was hauntingly sad, all guitars with a country twist she'd never really heard from him before, but perhaps she should have expected given their location in the heart of country music city.

_The time between meeting_

_And finally leaving_

_Is sometimes called falling in love_

_The time between meeting_

_And finally leaving_

_Is sometimes called falling in love_

_Sometimes called falling in love_

Rachel felt a lump in her throat and tears threatened to spill over. Is that what Noah thought about their years together? It was just a period between meeting and leaving? Had he moved on with this girl with the small, yet soothing voice? The girl continued by softly singing the last lines of the song without her male accompaniment.

_She wanted to be a cowboy._

_She was shootin' em down._

_She was trampin' around._

The crowd applauded and whistled appreciatively for the pair on stage. "Thank you," the girl said demurely into the microphone. "We just wanted to show we can write and sing songs from a variety of genres. So that was our little 'lost love country song'."

Noah spoke into his microphone, "Give it up for Christina Soriano, everyone! We just finished writing that chorus together this weekend. Not too bad, right?"

Christina piped up again, "Thanks! Now we'll take a quick break to set up the instruments for what a lot of you are waiting to hear…the vocal stylings of Noah Puckerman on his big hit song, _Where You Want to Be_!" Christina gave him a playful hip-check as he stood to set up keyboards.

"You can take this opportunity to refill your beers," Puck joked to the crowd. "I know Bill and Carla over there will appreciate that." He winked at the two bartenders behind the counter before turning his back on the audience.

Rachel watched the exchange, stunned.

The song she had heard the other day…the song that changed her course and compelled her to find Noah…was _his_ song! As bittersweet as this realization was, along with the sight of Noah (looking spectacular as usual) and his easy-going manner with the crowd and his _song-writing_ partner, Rachel couldn't bring herself to leave. She probably should leave rather than disturb him when he had clearly moved on. Instead, Rachel was frozen in place in the audience.

She noticed a vendor at the front of the room selling some cowboy hats and boots and other trinkets. She pulled herself out of her daze to look them over while she waited for the song to begin—the song that had stirred her heart into action only days before.

...

"Hey, Puck?" Christina started nonchalantly. "Your old high school pseudo-friend, Rachel Berry…so, what do you think you'd do if you saw her after all these years?"

"Hell if I know, why?" Puck asked, brows furrowed with confusion.

"Because I think that's her," Christina nodded her head subtly to the entrance where Rachel was browsing over Nashville souvenirs.

"Shit." Puck jumped backstage abruptly.

Christina let out a laugh. "She's already seen you, you know. I saw her walk in during the end of _Falling in Love_. What's your problem? A little star-struck?" she teased.

"You're not being helpful," Puck grumbled.

"I'm rarely helpful," she countered, though they both knew in many ways that wasn't true. She continued, "This is quite a reaction to someone you barely knew."

"Well, I might've lied about that," Puck shrugged.

"I figured. It just got juicy, and I want details later, but guess what? The crowd's getting restless out there. We gotta play your song. Now!" She shoved him back on stage.

She was dying to know everything but she had a pretty good guess. That first night the two of them met back in Ohio, he had been really broken up over a girl. He'd mentioned the name Rachel before over the years, but had never talked too much about what had happened between them. It was too much of a coincidence that his girlfriend had been named Rachel and suddenly the famous Rachel he'd known in school had showed up out of the blue. Christina wished that Puck had trusted her enough to tell her the whole story before she had packed up and moved to Nashville with him to try to make their dreams of earning a living through music come true. But she also knew that she would have made the same choice with or without the knowledge of who had broken his heart. They had both needed mending and a fresh start.

Yes, she would have gone with him, no matter what.

...

Hearing Noah actually sing _Where You Want to Be_ right in front of her made Rachel break down. The tears that had threatened to fall before now came full-force. She had to go to the ladies' room to clean up before she let him see her. When she felt satisfied, she emerged and waited for the end of the show so she could try to talk to him.

...

Throughout the song, Puck tried to avoid looking at Rachel, but it was kind of impossible. She just had a presence that drew his eye. And she looked fucking hot of course. She was wearing a cowboy hat, which might have been a ridiculous attempt to fit in or to somewhat conceal her identity, and part of him wanted to laugh at the sight of her and another part wanted to cry. But he had written this song with Rachel in mind anyway, so he soldiered on and did his best to get through it. When she left crying at the end of it, Puck had to fight the urge to run after her. He didn't know if she was coming back. He didn't know why she was here in the first place. And it wasn't his fault she got upset. She left him. Puck felt unsettled as anger overtook his initial impulse to feel concerned. He wasn't sure if he could handle this little reunion or whatever it was that Rachel wanted.

He and Chris finished their set. It went fairly well, but Puck was pretty sure he would have done better if half of his brain wasn't occupied by thoughts of the little brunette in the fancy dress and the cowboy hat. He guided Chris by the small of her back as they headed down the stage to where they were going to get the trailer to load up their equipment. Puck saw Rachel out of the corner of his eye, but he tried to ignore her.

It didn't work. Rachel Berry was nothing if not persistent.

"Noah!" she called as she followed him. "It's me. Can we talk? Please?"

"Not really a good time, Berry," Puck said gruffly. "I gotta load all this equipment up so we can get outta here. Other people need the stage."

Rachel was taken aback by the impersonal response, but she composed herself. Because she shouldn't expect him to be thrilled to see her after she left the way she did… "I will help you with what you need to load. Then I'd really like to talk to you. I'm so sorry, and there's so much we need to say to each other."

"Funny, you didn't let me have a word in when it really mattered five years ago. _Now_ you want to talk me?" Puck was so angry and hurt. And when he felt that way, he got really defensive. He hadn't grown out of that yet.

"We're not turning down an offer for help," Christina said firmly, shooting Puck a dangerous look. Then she turned a sweet smile to Rachel. "Hello, I'm Christina. Thank you so much for offering to help us. I'm a huge fan of yours and really can't believe you're here!" She began to gush.

Somehow the interaction calmed Rachel down a bit since talking to fans was somewhat familiar and comforting. Puck took the opportunity to start loading the heavy amps into the trailer they used to transport their equipment. Using the energy helped release some of his stress too.

"Thank you. And I enjoyed your show. You have a lovely quality to your voice," Rachel said.

"Oh, well, thanks," Christina said humbly. "It's nothing compared to yours." It was true.

Rachel smiled politely because she couldn't refute the statement. Christina abruptly exclaimed, "Holy shit! I just did it too!"

"Excuse me?" Rachel frowned.

"Uh, sorry," Christina said. "It's just the other night I told Puck to stop acting like he was a screw-up compared to you, and I just did the same thing. Like it's impossible not to. You're just…a lot to take in I guess."

Rachel got defensive, "I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about themselves. I just…"

Christina interrupted her, "No, no," she rushed. "I'm not saying you do it on purpose or anything. You just have this…energy surrounding you. Like star-power, if you will. And for a minute it can make others around you feel really…energized. But it can also make them feel like…they're not on your level. I mean, I feel more expensive just standing next to you!"

Puck overhead some of this exchange and barked out a laugh when he saw the confusion on Rachel's face and the enthusiasm in Chris' eyes. "Ha! That's a good way to put it, Chris. Berry, I think she means that you're really classy. We feel classier next to you—and trashier at the same time."

"Thanks for being my interpreter, Puck. You have such a way with words," Christina said with a smile. She picked up her guitar case and headed to the trailer, conveniently leaving the other two to talk.

"As I told Christina, I don't mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable," Rachel said carefully.

"I know," he said. "But look around you, then look at what you're wearing. See the difference?"

Rachel looked at the crowd of patrons in jeans and shorts, with a few girls in skirts walking around the room. She looked down at her designer dress. It was a lightweight summer dress, but it was still obviously of a different quality than what others were wearing around her. "I came straight from L.A.!" she protested. "I was just there for the awards and a few…appearances. I'm sorry if I'm dressed inappropriately for the venue," she huffed. "I picked up this hat on the way in so I'd fit in a little better."

Puck found himself smirking at her like old times. "Chill out, Rachel. Your dress is great. You look great. Even in that ridiculous hat from the tourist trap shop."

Rachel couldn't help but blush at the compliment that was buried in there. "Maybe you shouldn't say things like that," Rachel said quietly, gesturing towards Christina who was heading their way.

"What? Chris? She's cool. She wouldn't care if I make fun of your tourist hat," he said with a wink. "I'm gonna load up the rest of the amps," he said to Chris as she entered. Puck wasn't sure what had come over him. One minute he was furious at Rachel, the next minute he was flirting with her. _Get a hold of yourself, Puckerman_, he told himself.

Rachel's heart was racing but she was frustrated by the fact that she still didn't know what 'Chris' was to Noah. Were they…together?

She put a hand on Christina's shoulder to get her attention. "I just want to apologize for any disruption my unannounced arrival may have caused. I came to see Noah, but I didn't realize he had a…partner."

"Oh, yeah, we met back in college. Junior year. I guess I knew about you except that Puck never told me it was _you_. I mean, _wow_! Maybe if he'd mentioned it before now then I wouldn't be such a stammering idiot around you—but you know Puck, he keeps a lot of things to himself a lot of the time."

"Yes," Rachel nodded. "I see you know him well too." Her eyes almost teared-up again at the thought of how well this beautiful woman knew _her Noah_, but Rachel got a hold of herself this time. Still, Rachel started to have some doubts about her romantic notion of coming to find Noah. He had met Chris during junior year of college—but was that before or after Rachel left? Maybe their relationship didn't mean as much to him as it had meant to her if he had been able to move on so quickly. As soon as she thought it, Rachel felt a little hypocritical—since she was the one who had left in the first place. But it upset her that she hadn't figured out just what this girl was to Noah, or what she had been in the past. She did her best to act as though the doubts weren't eating away at her. She was an actress, after all.

Christina smiled and nodded back to agree that she did know him well…just as Puck interrupted. "Less talking, more loading," he said as he lifted another amp.

The girls shrugged at each other good-naturedly and began to carry a keyboard together. Puck shook his head as he watched the interaction. He wasn't quite sure if he could believe what he was seeing. Rachel Berry was actually in Nashville, helping load equipment, while talking and smiling with the other woman in his life. Unbelievable.

Once they had finished loading everything, Christina turned to Puck. "I'll drive this thing back. Call me if you need a ride home. But I won't wait up past one. I'm beat." And then she turned to Rachel. "It was nice to meet you. Surreal, but nice." She pulled Rachel in for a hug, but it was for a purpose. She whispered into her ear. "Just be careful with this one. He's not as tough as he looks. I'm not sure he can take anything else."

Rachel stood back and looked at Christina wide-eyed. "I—I," she started, opening and closing her mouth. Then she composed herself once again. "Yes, it was surreal but nice to meet you as well," Rachel said primly as she shook the other woman's hand.

And with that, Christina sashayed away; leaving Puck looking awkwardly at Rachel, and Rachel looking back at him feeling a little sick to her stomach.

Puck broke the silence. "Alright, you wanted to talk, so talk." He folded his arms across his chest.

Rachel couldn't help but admire those lovely arms for a moment. "Well, rather than continuing this conversation in the parking lot, I suggest we go back inside and grab a drink."

"Fine, after you," Puck said, and he watched as his own hand betrayed him and reached out for the small of her back. Old habits.

A small smile slipped onto Rachel's face when she felt his hand guiding her, and she let out a sad sigh when she felt him remove his hand a few seconds later. They ordered drinks at the bar then settled into a booth for a bit more privacy.

"First, I want to tell you that I loved your songs. You seem to be doing really well, Noah," Rachel said sincerely.

"Not as well as you."

"Don't put yourself down," Rachel admonished. "You're doing what you always wanted to do. You have a wonderful song on the radio. That song made me come to find you. I didn't know it was your song at the time, but that's part of what I wanted to tell you. About why I'm here."

"Yeah, so why are you here? After all these years without a word. Why now? And hell, while I've got you here, why the fuck did you leave me like that in the first place?"

Rachel took a deep breath. She had anticipated that things wouldn't be smooth. It was Puck after all. But she hadn't mentally prepared enough for how difficult it would be to sit face-to-face with him and explain herself. She had written him the letter the first time for a reason. "To answer your second question, did you read the letter I left?"

"Of course I did!" Puck said incredulously. Then he tried to calm down too. "I was an idiot," Puck admitted. "But you shouldn't have left like that. I know we could've worked it out. Long distance relationship or something. I could've transferred senior year."

"Why didn't you? You knew where I applied. You knew where I was."

"Shit, Rach. You cut me out of your life! How was I supposed to know you wanted me to chase you? Shit, you really are crazy," he shook his head. "You know I'm an idiot. You had to know I wouldn't realize that's what you would want."

"I guess I was just hoping," she replied tearfully. "But I gave that up when you never came, and I became completely driven and focused on my career. And it obviously worked."

"Obviously. Yeah. Congrats, by the way. Saw you kiss some dude at the awards. What are you doing here, with me, if you have somebody back in Glitter Gulch."

"Glitter Gulch?"

"It's a nickname around here for Hollywood. Sorry, no offense."

"None taken, I suppose," Rachel said carefully. "But to answer your question, his name is Anthony and he's a friend my agent set me up with to date to help both of our images. It's a business arrangement. Not a romantic thing." Then Rachel eyed him pointedly. "What about Christina? You two seem very close. Are you dating her?"

"C'mon, Berry, you know I don't really _date_ women," he said suggestively, the hint of his former self showing clearly. Then he spoke seriously, "You're the only one I've ever dated. But to answer _your_ question, we are very close. She's my best friend. She picked up the pieces after you broke them."

Rachel sat back, stung. "I was broken too, you know?" she said quietly.

"Are you blaming _me_? _You_ left _me_, remember? I loved you and you left me. You don't get to make _me_ feel bad for _you_." Puck fumed.

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" Rachel shot back, her own temper starting to flare under the assault of Puck's words. "Don't you see that?!" Then she closed her eyes and counted to five. "I'm sorry. This is not how I wanted this conversation to go."

"Well, by all means," Puck said sarcastically. "Let's hear what your plan was for this conversation, since Rachel Berry is all about planning every little thing." Puck regretted his acid tone, but he couldn't help it. These were feelings he hadn't been able to work through for years.

And now the object of his affection and affliction was sitting in front of him.

Rachel chose to disregard the bitterness in his comment as she began her speech about her realization. "When I won the Academy Award for Best Actress, it was as if I could feel all of my childhood dreams were coming true. They could all really come true. That's an amazing feeling, Noah. But it wasn't perfect like it was supposed to feel. I realized that I had been too quick to dismiss the idea of _us_, Noah. The idea that we could have worked on our relationship while I pursued my dreams. I thought I had to choose. I thought my dreams were dying in Ohio. I thought I would grow to resent you if I stayed there and let them die so that you and I could live. You weren't ready to come with me to New York; and I thought if I didn't leave then, I never would. But you're right; I should have waited to talk to you more instead of abandoning you like I did. I just knew I wouldn't have done it if I had seen your face and let you talk me out of it like you always did. But what I did was so unfair to you. And I'm so sorry, so sorry that I made the wrong choice and realized it too late." Rachel wiped at the tears in her eyes and continued.

"When I heard your song, I realized I had to find you. To tell you that I'm sorry. To find out if I really am too late. Do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive me? Do you think we could try to work things out? Am I really too late?" Rachel knew she was rambling, so she decided to pause for breath and actually give Noah a chance to respond.

When Rachel was quiet for more than two seconds, Puck realized it was his turn to talk. But he didn't really know what to say. "I don't have the answers you're looking for, Rachel," he said, sounding defeated. "I just don't know…"

"You don't know right now?" Rachel asked. "But you could take some time and figure it out?" she continued hopefully.

"Yeah, I don't know right now," Puck ran his hand over his scalp and rubbed his face. "I'm tired, Rachel. I'm so tired of a lot of things. But mostly, I'm exhausted from the show and I have another showcase tomorrow. Why don't you come back tomorrow? That will at least give me a night to process this whole thing."

"That sounds very reasonable. Yes, I will come back for your showcase tomorrow and we can try for another discussion then." Rachel tried to reason with herself that she had expected too much if she really thought that she'd come sweeping in here from Hollywood and Noah would immediately profess his undying love for her and they'd go home (to her home in New York) and live happily ever after. This was real life. Not a movie. "Thank you for agreeing to see me after what I did," she said softly as she reached out to touch his hand. He pulled his hand away from her as though her touch burned his skin.

Discouraged, Rachel stood to leave the table and he stood too because he's a gentleman. She couldn't help it—she felt the urge to kiss his cheek.

It took some courage on her part after his reaction to the touch of her hand, but she did it. He stood paralyzed while she just barely brushed her lips on the side of his face and ghosted her hands to his shoulders for a fraction of a second.

Rachel turned away and was out the door quickly so he wouldn't see her tears.

It wouldn't have mattered because his vision was blurred with tears of his own. Puck swore to himself, paid the tab, and called Chris to pick him up. He hoped she hadn't fallen asleep. He didn't want to take the bus or a cab home, but he supposed either way the wait and the drive home would give him much-needed time to think.

What the hell was he gonna do now?

...

**A.N. **I happen to live and work in Nashville, TN, as a few of you know. Please visit my profile if you're interested in how you can help the real Nashville and victims of the recent flooding there by donating to the Red Cross.


	3. Decision Time

**A.N.** This fic is the product of the Support Stacie Author Auction. Thanks to **24jls** who placed the winning bid on me and provided the entire basis of this story, including the songs used in this chapter by NB Ridaz, both on youtube. "Wishin" is at /watch?v=ED8V6VwtvQk and "4-ever" is at /watch?v=u2Fpt-Bm1CA. She also added to the conversation between Puck and Chris at the beginning of this chapter. I refer to the song "Hollywood" by Dog's Eye View, which really captures some angsty feelings on Puck's behalf, so have a listen if you like on lala. **LizzayMartini** recommended a great song that captures a lot of the emotions, "All We'd Ever Need" by Lady Antebellum which can also be heard on lala and youtube. Lyrics are in italics with male vocals in bold. Finally, thanks to **Alimard** and **sweetcaroline1986** who said some things in their reviews that helped me know what readers want to see next.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

...

The night of his surprise encounter with Rachel, Puck had a lot to think about and not a lot of time to do anything else about it. In part because Chris wanted to talk about it.

"So, this explains a lot," she said sagely when she arrived to pick him up from the bar. She had been waiting up for Puck to call her (even though she threatened to be asleep by 1am). Of course she hadn't been asleep. She was too amped from meeting Rachel freakin' Berry and finding out that she was the long lost love of Noah Puckerman. Talk about mind-blowing.

"Like what does this explain?" Puck asked cautiously.

"Like your incessant playing of that _Hollywood_ song by that 90s band nobody's ever heard of."

"Dog's eye view kick's ass, and don't you forget it!" he shoved her playfully. "And yeah, you caught me. I was venting frustration over how Hollywood won out and I lost out when it came to Rachel."

"So, I wanna know everything. Like what's she doing here now, and why she left in the first place. Details! Details!"

"I'm not really feeling up to it right now, Chris," Puck said wearily. "I don't want to get into the whole thing."

"You know, you talked more about Quinn adopting your daughter out from under you more than you talked about what happened with Rachel." Christina pointed out. "Why?"

"Fuck, Chris, I don't know." Puck said, distraught. "Maybe I had more time to process the Quinn thing 'cause it happened in high school and Rachel had been there to help me through it. But Rachel leaving was raw, like an open wound. Besides, trying to rescue you from that jackass helped get my mind off of what I was going through—and what I wanted was to try to not feel so bad all the time."

"I suppose that makes sense," Christina said. "I just wish you would have shared some of this with me sooner. Maybe I could have helped you back then."

"Listen," Puck said quickly. "I appreciate that, I do. But I'm in no mood to take this trip down memory lane with you right now. I'm tired. We have a show tomorrow. I just need some time to think by myself, ok? Can we just talk more tomorrow?"

"Ok," she nodded. She knew there was no use in arguing. "I'll see you tomorrow. But if you need to talk tonight or first thing in the morning, don't hesitate. I'm right here for you." Christina gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"I know you are. Thanks for everything." He gave her a sad smile as she closed his door. He heard the door unlock in the condo next to his. It was pretty convenient to live next door to his best friend and co-writer. (It would have been too awkward to live together. Sometimes it was awkward enough to live next door to each other. Like when one or the other would bring home a date.

They'd already lived together in college and their first year in Nashville. Of course, moving day from OSU was when his mom found out that Chris was a girl and not a guy, and naturally, she flipped out and yelled at him for ruining a good thing with Rachel and replacing her with Chris in short order. That didn't help Puck's self-esteem. But thankfully, the glares from his mother didn't stop Chris from keeping her word and coming with him to Nashville. Because Christina had thought that the two of them could find their dreams together. Practically the exact opposite of what Rachel had decided all those years ago.

Rachel.

Something about her stirred up so much inside of him. Anger. Regret. Anger. And passion. It still came down to passion—if he didn't care, he wouldn't be so angry. But could he forgive? He knew he could never forget what she had done, but she had been young and lost too. They were both older now. Could they try again? Or were they better off leading separate lives?

Puck changed his mind. He needed to talk to Christina. He walked next door and knocked softly. He could hear her shuffling to the door slowly. Shit, she must have been sleeping. Puck glanced at his wrist and noticed his watch said 1:30. They had to be back for the festival in about 14 hours, so that wasn't too terrible. Christina opened the door, eyes tired and hair mussed from sleep. "Puck," she stated. She didn't ask what he was doing there. She knew.

"Sorry, Chris. Can you come over?"

She nodded and closed the door while she pulled a sweatshirt over her tank top with her boxers. She slid on some flip-flops, grabbed her keys, and almost headed out the door before turning back to quickly brush her teeth. Puck was her friend, so she wouldn't subject him to morning breath—even though he did send her away before deciding he needed her again. Maybe he deserved to get some form of torture, but he seemed tortured enough from the looks of it. Christina sighed as she headed next door.

He left the door unlocked, so she walked in and locked it behind her. He was sitting on his leather couch, strumming his guitar. "Hey, thanks for coming. I finally realized I need you to help talk me through this."

"I figured," she shrugged as she settled in on the couch at the opposite arm and folded her legs under her. "You start, and I'll interrupt you as needed."

Puck chuckled. "Right." He took a deep breath. "Here goes. I really don't know what to do about Rachel. When we dated in high school, our so-called friends in glee club"—he gave a look warning her not to make fun of him. Any other time, she would have. But not this time. He continued uninterrupted. "Anyway, everyone said that we wouldn't last, but we stuck through until junior year of college. We were inseparable and shit. This is the girl who I've been in love with for a really long time. But she left and pretty much destroyed me. Like she completely cut me out of her life, Chris. I got home one day and she was gone. Just left me a letter. She changed her phone number and everything. I mean, I was really torn up until I met you."

He looked up at Christina with his eyes pleading with her for understanding. She nodded and let out the breath she'd been holding as she watched him tense up.

"Why would she do that? Why would she leave so abruptly like that?" Christina asked him with wide eyes.

"You mean, what did I do to her, right?" Puck asked ruefully. Christina opened her mouth to protest that she didn't mean it like that.

Puck held up his hand to stop her. "No, it's alright. It's a fair question. She'd wanted to go to New York all along. Ever since we started at OSU the plan was that I'd save up some money—her dads are well off so that wasn't a problem for her even then. Obviously she must be loaded now. Anyway, I kept stalling on the plan. To be honest, I didn't really want to transfer schools, move to New York, any of that. I knew it was selfish, but I thought if I could just get her to wait until after we graduated, then we'd go there together or figure out some kinda plan. So she kept pushing and I kept pulling. Shit, I guess one day she had enough. She went ahead and applied to school there, got in, and I happened to crash at a frat party one night…" Christina shot him a look. "I know, I know. But it was just a band gig right before winter break. Whatever. Point is, she must've been fed up, and she just left. So I personally think she went too far, but now I guess you know my part in why she left like that."

Christina blinked a few times as she tried to comprehend everything she heard. "She definitely went too far," she agreed. "But I still don't think I understand what happened."

"You and me both. But I guess now I've realized that I had started letting myself pull away from her. Self-preservation. I knew she was too good for me, and it was just a matter of time before she'd know it too. See, I always had a fear that the relationship would end when things got too good to be true. That's always been a pattern in my life."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as soon as I was old enough to have good memories with my dad, he left us. I became a badass stud, then I got Quinn pregnant and fucked up relationships with everyone I cared about—that one was my fault, obviously. Then, the day that my daughter was born I find out it was a closed adoption. So I guess I began to pull away from Rachel because things were getting too good. But then she went and proved my point when she ran away to New York. When I was cut out of her life I realized what I lost and what went wrong. Now, I think it was a mistake all along for her to stay in Ohio for me. She did it for me, and I let her. Then I didn't go to New York for her."

"But if she loved you…" Christina started to ask the question Puck had asked himself countless times.

"I know, right?" he interrupted her. "If she loved me, how could she do that to me? This whole situation is crazy. I loved her so damn much, then I thought it all turned to hate after she left. And then, here in Nashville with you, I thought after all this time I was finally _over_ her. But now, I know I'm not. Maybe a part of me will always love her." Puck stood up and paced as he cleared his head and got back on track. "As for do I think she loved me then? I think she did, in her own way. The only thing I can come up with is that she's Rachel Berry. You had to have grown up with her to know what I mean. All she ever wanted for herself and all her dads ever wanted for her was to be a huge star. Like the biggest star ever. She used to say she needed applause to live." He smirked at the memories as he sat back down next to Chris.

"She sounds funny," Christina remarked.

"Yeah," Puck said with a tight smile. "Usually when she doesn't mean to be." Then he frowned. "She was serious about the applause. And apparently, after talking to her tonight, she was holding out some kinda fucked up hope that I'd follow her out there. But I'm a dumbass. She knows that. I can't believe she thought I'd figure that out."

"Do you think you would have?" Christina asked softly. "Followed her? If you would have thought of it then."

Puck leaned his head back and put his guitar aside on the stand. "I don't know. Maybe. I might have. I cared about her more than I cared about staying in Ohio. I was just so comfortable with how things were; I didn't want change. But she… She was everything to me."

"Then what's holding you back now? She came here for you. Why are you sitting here talking about this with me? There's more to this, isn't there? What do you really want to ask me, Puck?"

Her dark eyes bore holes into his soul. Chris was the only girl who knew him this well besides Rachel. And he wasn't sure if Rachel really knew him anymore or if he'd really know her now.

"Well, we've been apart for so long, I don't even know… I want to know how I can be sure she won't leave me again if I do, hypothetically, forgive her, and we do, hypothetically, start dating again or whatever." Puck glanced at her sitting next to him. She had leaned back and her eyes weren't so scary anymore.

Christina raised one eyebrow at his use of 'hypothetically'. "Methinks thou dost protest too much," she quipped in a mangled Shakespeare reference.

Puck didn't really get it, but he could infer what she meant. "Whatever."

"No, really. What's with all the hypothetical? Tell me exactly what's holding you back."

Puck sighed deeply. "I guess it's that I lost my trust in her. How am I supposed to go back to trusting her to be there? After she left, I went through some of my worst days. Fuck, Chris, I don't know what to feel. She just came back like some final scene in a movie I saw a long time ago; saying she realizes what she has done was wrong and asking for another go at a relationship. If I take her back would it be like the past five years and everything I've been feeling have been nothing? Is that how it's supposed to be?

"Ok, I don't have the answers," Christina started calmly, trying to project a sense of calmness onto the distraught man at her side. "But I'm just gonna say a few things. First, Puck, there is a time to heal and a time to hurt, so you need to decide what time it is for you now. And you know I won't judge you, no matter what you choose. Second, I think Rachel coming back could be great for you because now you could have that closure you didn't have all those years ago. You could tell her that it's over for good and mean it. Or you could take it as a chance to stop wasting time and begin to mend your relationship with her. And lastly, I want to say this." She placed her hands on his shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes. "Thank you," Christina said.

"For what?"

"For being honest with me. And for revealing your true feelings."

"And my true feelings are?" he asked her mockingly. But he really wanted to know.

And she knew that. So she told him.

"It's clear that a part of you has loved her all these years. You want to forgive her, but it's not easy. And you want to be part of her life again, but that's not easy either. You have doubts. And rightfully so. You need to find out if you'll be giving up your dreams to follow hers just to get her in your life. Or if she's willing to make compromises so that you'll both be happy. You need to talk to her, Puck. You need to ask her the hard questions. Then you need to ask yourself what you want, decide, and follow through."

"You make it sound simple," Puck groaned.

"It won't be simple," Christina agreed. "But if you have a framework in mind, like a basic plan, then you can figure it out. That I know."

"She's coming to our showcase tomorrow too," Puck said out loud, but more for himself than for the woman sitting next to him.

"Good, so you'll talk to her after, get some things settled."

"But now I'm gonna be thinking about every song we pick—what's she gonna read into them. Shit, I think I better write some new songs."

"You've got to be kidding." Christina was serious. She did not want to start writing new songs for their showcase that was—what, 12 hours away.

Puck suddenly seemed a little crazed. He ran his hand over his scalp as he stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna write two new songs. One that goes one way, one that goes the other, you know?" He was striding across the room to get his sheet music. "You don't have to help me on this one, Chris, you get your rest."

"Oh, thank God," she sighed dramatically.

He glanced at her as he prepared for his songwriting undertaking. He went on, thinking out loud. "I'll know which one to play, when the time is right. And I'll get all my emotions out now, tonight, well this morning, before I face her again."

"My work here is done," Christina said as she got up from her place on the couch.

"But you'll still sing the new ones with me, right?" Puck asked—again with those pleading eyes.

Christina was a sucker for those eyes. She couldn't say no. "Of course I will. We'll just need to run through 'em a few times, so give me far warning, ok?"

"You got it," Puck grinned. "Thanks, you're the best, Chris!" He stood up to wrap her in his arms. "What would I do without you?"

Christina didn't answer him. She had a feeling they'd be finding that out pretty soon. She just nodded and shrugged out of his hug. "Good night, Puck. See you in a few hours." He nodded. As Puck sat down with his guitar to write a song, Christina let herself out.

She didn't let him see the tears welling up in her eyes. She was happy for him, she truly was. But she was also sad to know that in a few hours, she was probably going to lose her best friend of five years to the girl of his dreams. Christina knew he could hear her next door if she was too loud, so she turned on some music and cried softly to herself before she fell into an exhausted sleep.

...

After meeting Noah (and Christina) the night before, Rachel was anxious to get back to the music festival. But she had to look amazing. So she got up early, did some shopping so that she'd wear something that would fit into the local style but still have her signature flair. She did her makeup lightly—the way he'd always liked it, but with a little more of a dramatic eye. And she let her hair fall in shiny waves. She decided this was the best she could do. Maybe she couldn't compete with his life here and the girl made of all legs (to whom he seemed to be quite attached now); but she had to try. Rachel Berry always tried her best to make her dreams come true. And finally her dream was not just to be a star, but to be happy. Now she knew she needed Noah in her life to be truly happy. She wondered if it was too much to hope that he needed her too. She had been a silly child when she left him. She knew better now. Rachel couldn't wait to see him again at his show. But she found that she had to keep reminding herself—This is not a fairytale; this is not a fairytale.

So due in large part to her anxiousness, she arrived at the venue quite a bit early. It seemed that Noah (and Christina) hadn't arrived yet, so Rachel just walked around a little and then snagged a good seat. When she noticed a man heading her way, she frowned. It was not the man she wanted to see. This one appeared to be in his early thirties, and he strode purposefully toward her. Though he was attractive—with sandy brown hair and playful blue eyes, Rachel was in no mood to fend off flirts.

Fortunately, perhaps, the man was not there to flirt.

When the organizer of the festival recognized Rachel Berry, Oscar-winning actress, in the bar, he knew that she's a Broadway legend; and right away he had a brilliant idea.

"Excuse me, Miss Berry?" he said in a low voice to not attract attention. "I'm Dave Denton. I'm organizing the Tin Pan South Music Festival this year for singer/songwriters."

"Oh!" Rachel was caught off guard but she was always polite. "It is nice to meet you." She took his extended hand.

"The pleasure is all mine," Dave assured her. Then he got down to business. "I know you're not known as a songwriter, but you are well known as a singer. Since you're here visiting, I wonder if you'd mind performing a song for the crowd. It would be a real treat for us." And good publicity, he thought.

Rachel paused for a moment to consider the request. This could be her only chance to sing her feelings to Noah. "Thank you, I'd be happy to sing. I may actually have a song in mind that I think will be a crowd-pleaser. But it's a duet. Do you mind if I ask one of the singers in your festival to perform with me?"

"Mind? That would be fantastic!" Dave exclaimed. He couldn't believe his good luck.

"Great. I'll just have to find out if he's willing to help me."

"Who would turn you down?" Dave chuckled.

Rachel smiled sadly in return, which confused Dave, but she didn't directly answer his question. "I am here to see Noah Puckerman. We went to school together. I'd like to ask him to sing with me."

"Done." Dave said.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean that you should force him. I'll ask him, and if he declines, I'm sure another performer will be willing to sing with me."

"No, what you want, you're gonna get. Leave Puckerman to me. I can't imagine he'd decline anyway."

Rachel looked away nervously. He couldn't imagine it because he didn't know their history. But Rachel could imagine it. In great detail. And she didn't think that forcing him to sing with her would be a good start. She hoped she could explain herself before Mr. Denton found Noah. "Well, thank you, Mr. Denton. I look forward to performing for your crowd today."

"Call me Dave," he grinned. "And I'm the one looking forward to it. By the way, what song did you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking about performing Lady Antebellum's 'All We'd Ever Need'."

Dave nodded enthusiastically. "You're right, that'll be a real crowd-pleaser. Especially you and Puckerman together. I can already imagine that your voices would blend surprisingly well."

"They do," Rachel whispered with a slight nod.

"What's that?" asked Dave.

"I said, 'I agree', and I also want to thank you again."

Dave nodded, thanked her again profusely, and shook her hand a few more times, before he trotted off to call his media contact to make sure there'd be some coverage and photos of the event. He was very pleased with himself for landing this performance.

...

Rachel decided she should stand near the back entrance to run into Noah (and Christina) before Dave 'told him he'd be performing'. She knew that would not go over well. Luckily, she did manage to see him coming into the bar before Dave could beat her to it.

"Noah!" she said breathlessly after she ran to meet him. "I'm glad I caught you before Dave did."

"You know Dave?" he asked, confused. It didn't help that she was looking all fine, making it harder for Puck to concentrate.

Rachel explained how Dave introduced himself and asked her to perform.

"We were hoping—No, I am hoping that you would be willing to perform a duet with me."

Puck gulped. Rachel thought it would have almost been comical if she hadn't been so saddened by his reaction. Not that she expected him to break into a huge smile; although maybe that's one way she had imagined this going. (This is not a fairytale.) Christina walked in behind Puck, and Dave happened to spot them all together. Puck started to answer, "Well, Rachel, I don't know… This is really short notice and really…unexpected."

Dave interrupted. "Oh, good. Puckerman, Soriano," he acknowledged the two familiar singers. "I see our visiting starlet has already approached you with our proposition. I've already called some of my contacts. Great publicity for us and you, Puckerman. Miss Berry here was worried, but I couldn't imagine you'd tell this pretty gal 'No'."

"Well, sir…" Puck began.

"I'm sure I can ask someone else," Rachel said quickly.

"Oh no, he'll do it," Christina announced. Puck raised an eyebrow. "I mean, we'll do it," Christina corrected. She looked at Rachel, then at Puck. "You two will sing. I'll accompany you on the guitar."

"Thank you, Christina," Rachel said gratefully.

Christina gave a quick nod. "I'll get the guitar. What song should I be practicing? Maybe I should've asked that first."

"Yeah, among other things," Puck grumbled.

Rachel blushed. Dave spoke up, "Oh, it's one ya'll know. The lovely lady here suggested 'All We'd Ever Need' by Lady Antebellum. Good choice, don't you agree?"

Christina nodded again and elbowed Puck to speak up. "Yeah, good."

Dave shook his head, wondering why Puckerman was at a loss for words. He was usually quite the smooth talker. He chalked it up to being star-struck. "I'll give you a chance to do a run-through backstage, and then it'll be go time."

"Thank you, Dave," Rachel said politely.

"No, again, thank _you_."

After he left, Rachel tried to explain the situation and apologize again for putting him in an awkward position.

"It's ok, Rachel," Puck said firmly. "Just not what I was expecting to deal with today."

"I understand," she said quietly. Then she spoke a bit more brightly. "I'm changing the words a bit, just so you know."

Puck looked at her questioningly.

"I've noticed that this song seems to direct a lot of blame toward the male vocalist, in my opinion at least. So I'm changing the words for the female vocals. Because leaving was my fault. And I'm sorry."

For the second time in 24 hours, Puck felt another pair of dark brown eyes looking deep into his soul. His heart ached for her, how sad she looked. And his heart ached for himself—how broken she'd made him all these years. Finally, he said, "Thank you."

Rachel thought she knew why he said that, but she couldn't help the question in her eyes—which he could read, of course. He could be very good at that. Sometimes he was clueless and needed to be told directly (multiple times). Other times he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.

"I'm thanking you for not blaming me anymore. And for you apologizing for leaving me."

"Oh, Noah," she started to reach for him, but stopped herself as she remembered how he had pulled away from her touch the night before. "Like I said last night, I am so sorry. It's hard to express in words how truly sorry I am." She had leaned closer, as if the proximity would help to really get him to understand her words. But she balled her hands into fists at her sides to force herself not to touch him and send him running away. (This is not a fairytale.)

"I think I can forgive you," he said in a low voice.

"Really?"

"I think I'm on my way," he said cautiously.

Rachel couldn't help herself. She threw her arms around him in a fierce hug.

Puck sputtered a little. Then he relaxed and let his arms do what they'd been itching to do—wrap around her and hold her tight.

Christina walked backstage with a guitar, picking out the song. She had been looking down at the strings and didn't realize what she was interrupting. "Oh, sorry," she said when she looked up at the two in their embrace.

They both dropped their arms and looked back at her with somewhat guilty expressions.

"It's no big deal," Christina shrugged. "We probably don't need a run-through anyway. Christina turned and walked away.

Puck gave Rachel an apologetic look but no explanation as he ran after Christina.

Rachel sat backstage, wondering what had just happened.

...

When Dave saw Christina come from backstage with her guitar, he figured they were ready to play. He walked up to meet her –and Puckerman who had trailed her. "Great, guys. I'll go ahead and announce you. Get on up to the stage now." He shooed them as he headed in the opposite direction.

"Shit," said Puck. Christina gave him a look—though he wasn't sure what this one meant—and she headed toward the stage. It was too late to turn back. In Dave's words, it was go time.

When he got back to Rachel, he told her quickly, "We gotta do this now, cold."

Rachel opened her mouth, then closed it and nodded. "I'm ready."

"Let's do this shit," Puck said out loud. But he didn't look at Rachel or Christina. They all three inhaled deeply—for slightly different reasons.

...

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's my distinct pleasure to announce a special treat. The winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress is actually here, tonight, and she's graciously agreed to perform a song. Please welcome Broadway legend Rachel Berry with our own Noah Puckerman, accompanied by Christina Soriano on a song I think you'll all recognize." Dave announced and reveled in the thunderous applause. This was one of the best ideas ever.

The trio walked out on stage and Christina took a seat in the background and began playing the tune on her guitar.

Rachel and Puck took seats on stools near the front of the stage, and Rachel looked at him as she began to sing her heart out:

_Boy it's been all this time  
And I can't get you off my mind  
And nobody knows it but me_

I stare at your photograph  
Still sleep in the shirt you left  
And nobody knows it but me

Every day I wipe my tears away  
So many nights I've prayed for you to say

_[Chorus]_  
_I should've been chasing you  
I should've been trying to prove  
That you were all that mattered to me  
I should've said all the things  
that I kept inside of me  
And maybe I could've made you believe  
That what we had was all we'd ever need_

Puck looked at Rachel, but he couldn't hold her gaze as he sang. So he turned to the crowd.

_**My friends think I'm moving on  
But the truth is I'm not that strong  
And nobody knows it but me**_

And I've kept all the words you said  
In a box underneath my bed  
And nobody knows it but me

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow  
But the truth is that I've been screaming out  
  
_[Repeat Chorus]_

Rachel joined him, changing the lyrics to put blame on herself. She stood up, and put her hand on his shoulder as he sat stiffly.

_**I should've been chasing you  
**__[I] should've been trying to prove  
__**That you were all that mattered to me  
**__Oh [I] should've said all the things__**  
That I kept inside of me  
**__And maybe [ I] could've made [us] believe  
__**That what we had girl**_

Puck stood up and took her hand as they sang together:

_**Oh that what we had, what we had  
It was all we'd ever need  
It was all we'd ever need**_

They looked at each other with shining eyes as the applause filled their ears. Puck squeezed her hand before letting it go. Rachel spoke into the microphone for all to hear, but her purpose was just for him to hear her over the crowd, "I know now. It was all we'd ever need."

A small smile escaped Puck, but he didn't answer. Instead he spoke to the crowd, "Rachel Berry, everyone!" And another roar of applause erupted. In that moment, Rachel felt a surge of hope that maybe everything would be alright.

Meanwhile, Christina swallowed the annoying lump that had formed in her throat during the performance.

"Thank you," Rachel said to the crowd, and then her eyes locked with Puck's again. He nodded and guided her off of the stage. Christina followed, alone.

"Well," Puck said. "That was…"

"Amazing," Christina finished for him, as she came up behind Puck.

"Thank you, Christina," Rachel said.

Puck just nodded. Christina took over. "Well, we're about to go on for our showcase, and Puck and I need to run through some stuff he wrote last night without me."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Puck said. "Thanks for reminding me, Chris."

She shrugged, "That's what I'm here for."

They paused awkwardly, and Rachel realized they didn't want her to witness their rehearsal. "Oh, I see. I'll just go wait in the audience like everyone else." She walked purposefully away from the two of them, uncertainty rolling in her stomach.

...

Christina turned to Puck, "So which song is it going to be?" She was pretty sure she knew which way this was going to go.

She was right.

...

Puck and Christina performed their last showcase of the festival. They did all of the songs that they had planned: a little rock, a little country, a little R&B, and a little soul, all to show their range as artists. But before their last song, Puck spoke into the microphone while Christina prepared the keyboard. "I wrote this song last night about someone who's still important to me. It's our first time playing it, so, uh, I hope you like it. It's called 'Wishin'."

_**You know that I've been wishing for you some day  
I know your coming back, (I know your coming back girl) baby  
(Someday) tell me why you went away (why you went away)  
And left me lonely (left me lonely)**___

Christina sang the chorus in her clear melodic tones.

[CHORUS] _I'm wishing on a star, (I'm wishing on a star)  
To follow where you are, (to follow where you are)  
I'm wishing on a dream (I'm wishing on a dream)  
To follow all my dreams (to follow all these dreams)_

_**If I could take every second, every moment that we spent,  
Erase it from my life and start over again,  
I wouldn't do it I couldn't even try,  
Cuz even if the pain and the tears never dry,  
At least I know I had my days with you,  
Remembering when it was just me and you,  
I closed my eyes and wished it was a dream,  
That I could wake up and you would be next to me,  
Did you love me did you lie to me,  
Why'd you make a promise that you knew you couldn't keep?  
You got me twisted and I'm losing my grip,  
If I never met you girl love wouldn't mean shhhh,  
So I ain't never giving up on you,  
I built my whole world and it was all around you,  
I made a promise and I'm keeping it true,  
So I'll never love again if I can't have you  
**__  
_Rachel looked up at Noah with hope pooling in her eyes as Christina repeated the chorus

_[CHORUS]_

_**If I had a wish, baby, it would be this,  
Take you back to the days where we first kissed,  
You had never been touched we loved each other so much,  
Holding you tight until the moon at night,  
I was yours you were mine everything was all right,  
A wish upon a star most precious of all,  
Can't imagine being without you with all we've been through,  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you,  
Now I sit here alone never knew I could cry,  
All I have is painful memories and wondering why,  
Why you left me cold rip my heart from my soul,  
Every day I pray I'll see your smile once more,  
Come back love I need you can't take it no more,  
Dying inside life means nothing no more,  
Don't wanna say goodbye but I gotta let you know,  
If you ever change your mind my love is all yours.  
**__  
[CHORUS]  
I'm wishing on a star  
You know I'm wishing on a star  
Trying to follow where you are,  
(Trying to follow where you are tonight)  
Ohh you are you are  
(Where are you baby),  
You know I'm wishing on a star  
(I'm wishing, on a star)  
Trying to follow where you are, you are  
Oh you are you are you are you are_

_**Now when I had you I loved you,  
And when you had me all you ever did was hurt me,  
Even when I wanted to let got I couldn't my soul wouldn't let me,  
Even on the bad days I smiled on the good days we shared together  
And it's hard to enjoy the success without you here but I maintained,  
Magic told me this was gonna be my best verse,  
I told him I just wrote it down cuz my soul hurt,  
I'm tired of living a lie I miss how she hugged and kissed me, loved and held me  
Never thought my heaven could turn to hell so quickly,  
You gave me this broken heart you're the only one that could fix it,  
Forget the past we got a lifetime to make up for that  
And even thought we met other people we got to admit  
It's never equal the sunshine and the pleasure that we made together  
**__  
[CHORUS]  
I'm wishing on a star  
You know I'm wishing on a star  
Trying to follow where you are,  
(Trying to follow where you are tonight)  
Ohh you are you are  
(Where are you baby),  
You know I'm wishing on a star  
(I'm wishing, on a star)  
Trying to follow where you are, you are  
Oh you are you are you are you are_

Rachel's heart was touched and tears spilled down her cheeks. She wiped them with her napkin and praised her waterproof mascara. She was a ball of nerves and could not wait until the man on stage was back in her arms again. She stood up and waited near the stage exit.

When he emerged, she thought he'd never looked so good. She was biased of course. She also thought she had never been so anxious in her life. Rachel stood before him, wringing her hands together, before letting them go to smooth out her skirt. "Noah, does this mean…?"

He took her by the shoulders as he interrupted her, "I mean what I said, but I think we need to talk."

"Oh," Rachel's heart sunk a little at his tone. (This is not a fairytale.)

"Will you come out for coffee with me after Chris and I drop off our equipment?"

"Of course," Rachel felt the hope rise again. "Where should I meet you?"

"Well, you don't have a car here, right?"

"That is correct."

"Then just come with us. Besides, you can help us unload," Puck smirked.

Rachel wondered momentarily if she should ask to go back to the hotel and change, but then she realized she didn't really have any 'equipment moving clothes' with her anyway. "Sure," she smiled softly, trying to keep her heart from racing. This could be the beginning…of their new beginning.

...

After they loaded up the equipment in the trailer, Puck opened the passenger door of the truck cab and gestured for Rachel to climb inside. So she did, followed by Christina. Puck closed the door and walked to the driver's side.

Rachel sat in the middle seat of the truck—she was the shortest after all. But she felt like she was also in the middle of something else. It felt as though she may be breaking up something important by being there between Noah and Christina. She wasn't sure what to do to make the unsettled feeling in her stomach go away. So, she did what she often did when she was nervous. She talked.

"Christina, I feel like you may already know some things about me. And I already know some things about Noah. Though I don't know much about what has happened in his life over the past five years. But I think we're going to catch up a little when we go for coffee shortly. In the meantime, would you like to tell me a little about yourself?"

Christina looked at Rachel, and she was a bit startled because their faces were so close and this movie star/ Broadway singer was looking up at her so earnestly. Christina was at least a head taller than Rachel and she looked away as she laughed at the absurdity of the situation. "I don't want to talk right into your ear, so I'll look out this way. Please don't be offended."

"Oh," Rachel blushed. "Of course."

"It's funny," Christina started. "Yesterday you seemed like this big star who was on a different level. And today, the way you just looked at me so…sincerely…you seem more like a normal person."

Puck snorted a laugh. Rachel seemed shocked. "Of course I'm a normal person. But I'm sorry if I seemed _abnormal_ yesterday."

Christina laughed again. "Abnormal. Ha! I didn't mean it like that."

"Somehow, this conversation has turned back to me when my intent was to ask about you," Rachel said, uncomfortable with the direction Christina was going.

"Right. I'm sorry." Christina tried to lean towards the window so she could somewhat look toward Rachel as she talked and not be in her face. "Well, I'm obviously a singer/songwriter, and I came to Nashville with Puck to try to make my dreams come true. We met in college—I guess it was soon after you left—and we eventually found we had common interests. So when he asked me to follow him here, I did."

"Oh. He asked you to follow him…and you did…" Rachel spoke slowly. Suddenly, Rachel felt as though she were being crushed—like the worst feeling of claustrophobia was over taking her. She started to breath heavily.

"Are you ok?" Christina asked. "Puck, I think she looks like she's gonna be sick!" Puck pulled the truck over, and Christina slipped out of the cab to give Rachel some room. Rachel swung her legs so she was sitting in the seat, but dangling almost outside of the truck. She stared at the side of the road below her and tried to breathe normally. Suddenly, her view was blocked by a dark shirt and she felt strong hands grasping her shoulders.

"Rachel," Puck said. "Are you ok? I think I know why you're freaking. It's different. Everything's different," he spoke gently. "I was stupid not to come willingly to New York with you. First class idiot. But you were just as bad by leaving me like that. Don't you think?"

Rachel nodded slowly and closed her eyes.

"We're two idiots sometimes, you and me. Christina came with me because we both had the same goals. She came as my friend. We were a little older, a little wiser. She didn't follow me because she loved me."

"That's not exactly true, Puck," Christina said. Rachel's eyes snapped open. "I mean," she said quickly, "I did come with you because I love you, but as a friend. As a friend," she assured Rachel. Puck looked at Christina warmly before turning back to Rachel.

"Are you gonna be ok for me to drive us the rest of the way? It's only about 5 more minutes."

Rachel nodded again and moved back to the middle seat. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

...

When they arrived at the condos, Rachel claimed she was perfectly fine and insisted on helping move the equipment. Puck let her carry a guitar. They rode up the elevator and got to Puck's door. Rachel started to follow him inside when he stopped her. "Actually, follow Christina. That one goes with her."

Rachel turned to see Christina opening the neighboring door. "Oh, next door neighbors."

"Yeah, it's convenient," Puck shrugged.

Rachel glanced at him with an inscrutable look before entering Christina's condo.

Puck wondered if maybe he should have said he'd meet Rachel for coffee instead of taking her to experience 'his environment'.

But they made quick work of unloading, and soon he and Rachel were on their way to have coffee together at a local favorite, JJ's.

...

Rachel made a conscious effort not to fidget as they waited for their coffee. Puck was quiet, but she couldn't call it uncharacteristically quiet. He had always been rather quiet by nature (compared to Rachel) when they were together, and she supposed he wanted to speak more privately about matters instead of letting the barista hear bits and pieces of their life stories. He guided her to a corner with two comfortable chairs separated by a low table. There were few patrons and Rachel felt like it was a nice and fairly secluded place for their conversation. She took a sip of her low fat latte.

"It's good," she remarked—feeling ridiculous for reverting to small talk.

"Yeah, they have good coffee here."

But since Puck kept the small talk alive, Rachel decided she had to proactive to make this time together productive. She began, "Yesterday I was able to express some of my feelings to you, and today I was able to express some more of my feelings through song. I am still in love with you. And I am so sorry. I want to do whatever I can to have another chance to make this work. I am touched and hopeful after your song today, and you asked if I would come here. I hope you are ready to tell me what is on your mind."

"You haven't really changed, have you?" Puck asked, slightly amused by her way with words.

"Only in good ways," she leaned toward him. "I'm more mature. I'm more understanding. I'm trying to be a better person. Tell me, Noah, what do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."

Puck set down his coffee slowly and prepared himself for this question. "How do you know you're in love with me? How can we know that we're not in love with the memories we have of each other? How can we know we'd be in love with the people we are now?"

"We give it a try. An honest try. I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try. That's why I'm here."

"How can we do that hundreds of miles away?"

"We don't. Like I said, that's why I'm here, in Nashville. To come to you. To try."

Puck's brow furrowed. "Rachel, what are you saying?"

"I'm willing to do what it takes. How about half the year in Nashville, half in New York, pursuing both our dreams? I just wrapped a show, and the movie paid pretty well, so even if I don't get a well-paying entertainment job while I'm here, I should be able to survive for about 6 months. But I will probably need to occasionally go back to New York to audition so that at the end of that time I'll have another show lined up. Of course, this is all assuming that you're even interested in me doing that, which I suppose we haven't exactly established…"

Puck cut her off by taking her tiny hands in his. "Consider it established."

Rachel felt as though her heart were nearly bursting from her chest. She was so full of warmth in that moment, and she basically lost control of her actions. She found she had scurried into his lap and upon realizing what she had done, she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks—tears she didn't even know had built up there, and she began shaking with racking sobs.

"Shh, it's ok, Rach," Puck whispered as he stroked her hair tenderly.

She loved the comfort she felt in his arms. She tried to calm her breathing. "I just…I hoped, but I…I never dreamed this would happen. Well, actually, I did dream that it would…but I was so uncertain…" Rachel pulled herself away from him a bit so that she could dry her eyes. She didn't leave her spot on his lap, and he didn't release his hold.

"Rach, we need to take it slow," Puck started to say, but Rachel was already moving back in towards him and as the word 'slow' left his lips, her lips were pressed to his. She had waited so long for this. She needed this type of comfort.

His hands roamed her body and he kissed her back deeply.

The cough of a customer reminded them where they were. Rachel slid off of his lap sheepishly. "Can we take these coffees to-go?"

Puck grinned. "Where to, little lady."

"My hotel?" she asked. "To talk and take it slow?"

"Sure, we still have a lot to talk about," Puck said. "And I do mean talk," he emphasized.

"My, how it seems the tables have turned," Rachel remarked.

Puck reached for her hand. "Hopefully everything that's changed has changed for the better." He gave her fingers a squeeze.

Rachel lifted her coffee cup toward him, "To new beginnings and good decisions."

Puck brought his cup to hers lightly. His eyes told her everything she needed to know at the moment. And she would wait to discover everything involved in re-learning the love of her life.

...

After 6 months, Puck made a big decision. The one Rachel had been waiting for. He was going to move in with her in her New York apartment. They had many discussions because Rachel wanted to make sure that he wasn't giving up on his dreams. She wanted him to follow his own dreams too—she just always thought they could both pursue their dreams together in New York. And now, that was finally what they were going to do.

But Puck had a few things to tie up in Nashville.

...

Christina crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Look, you know I'm happy for you. And I'm flattered you're asking. I just… I don't want to be that brainless girl who runs after you all the time, Puck. I followed you from Ohio to Nashville. Now you think I should follow you to New York while you try to make it work with your ex-girlfriend?"

"She's been my girlfriend again for a long time, and you know it," Puck rolled his eyes. She rolled her eyes back. Then he got serious. "I know it's a lot to ask, Chris. But you and I are such a good team. I don't want to lose you and I don't want to lose her. And New York is a great place for musicians."

"Better than Hollywood?" she asked with playful skepticism.

"Way better."

She smirked at him. He looked at her hopefully.

"And you don't think Rachel will mind?"

"She suggested it," Puck said honestly.

Christina's eyes widened, as she let out her breath in surprise. "Well, I'll think about it… You know, you're one lucky bastard, Noah Puckerman."

"I know it, Chris. I really do." He scooped her up into a hug. Chris relaxed in his arms and she felt a warmth in her chest. Damn, she was probably going to follow this idiot again, wasn't she? Or maybe she would make another fresh start in life.

... Five years later ...

Noah Puckerman had finally achieved almost everything he'd ever wanted. Here he was; a small gathering at their favorite place with his family and friends to celebrate a record deal. Not just selling songs for others to sing—his own record. He had the love of the perfect woman for him. And as he looked into her shining brown eyes, he knew she loved him too. Really loved him. Not the immature love of teen crushes, but a deep and passionate love unlike anything he'd ever known.

"Speech!" someone in the crowd called out.

"Song!" another voice shouted.

Puck laughed heartily. "I'll give you a little of both." He headed to the small stage. "I just want to thank everyone for coming here tonight to celebrate with me and for all of you who have helped me, well us, along the way. But most of all, I want to thank my wife." He looked into her eyes—which were full of pride and tears—and his heart swelled with love for her. The crowd 'aw'd'.

Puck continued, "Babe, without you, I wouldn't be here. Your undying love for me has kept me going, kept me strong. I love you more than words can say." He sat down at the keyboard. "So forgive me while I sing instead. This one's called, 4-ever." The crowd applauded.

_This song right here  
Is dedicated to someone real special  
This for you baby  
Jus to let you know how much I love you girl  
Come here_

[Chorus]  
Have I ever told you lady  
That you mean the world to me  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Forever you and me  
Have I ever told you baby  
That you're always on my mind  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Until the end of time.

You say you love me pretty lady and you're down for me  
And so I I made this promise girl to always be your everything  
Turn down the lights the music up and put your hands in mine  
And let me show you girl these feelings that I hold inside  
Never wanna be without you girl cuz you're my pretty lady  
I lose my mind every time your kisses drive me crazy,  
So tell me baby, do you feel for me what I feel for you?  
Do you love me girl like I love you para siempre me and you

[Chorus]  
Have I ever told you lady?  
That you mean the world to me  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Forever you and me  
Have I ever told you baby?  
That you're always on my mind  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Until the end of time.

Hey pretty girl you know I love you can't stop thinking about you  
Always and forever you and I will be together  
The love I have for you until I die I will treasure  
Every minute every hour can't stop thinking of you  
My days won't be complete without a smile from you  
Hold my hand understand your the light of my life,  
You're my girl, my friend that's why I made you my wife

[Chorus]  
Have I ever told you lady  
That you mean the world to me  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Forever you and me  
Have I ever told you baby  
That you're always on my mind  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Until the end of time.

Now if I've never said it then imma say it now  
In front of the whole world baby girl imma say it proud,  
I'm still in love you, even through the things we've been through  
I can still smile, I can still say my heart belongs to only you now  
I breathe and live for you and my kids  
We've been through the rain the love and the pain,  
Little sunshine in the end how the fairy tales end  
Happily ever after forever I will be your man

[Chorus]  
Have I ever told you lady  
That you mean the world to me  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Forever you and me  
Have I ever told you baby  
That you're always on my mind  
And you know I'm gonna love you forever  
Until the end of time.

The small audience of their friends clapped heartily. Puck stepped down from the stage into the waiting arms of his beautiful wife. "I love you, Noah Puckerman."

"I love you too, Rachel Puckerman." And he kissed her so soundly that it took her breath away. Almost like a fairytale.

"We're so lucky, Noah. Everything we overcame to get to this point." Rachel kissed her husband as she snuggled into his embrace.

He smiled into her lips. "Yeah, I'm a lucky bastard."

"Yes, you really are," piped up a voice behind him. "Congratulations, Noah Puckerman. You're New York's latest big thing."

Puck smirked as he turned to the woman, "Congratulations to you too, Christina." He released Rachel to embrace his friend, and then he shook the hand of the man next to her. "Congrats, Dave."

Rachel squealed and hugged Christina too. "Congratulations! How many weeks?"

"Nine weeks," Christina smiled as her hand instinctively found itself on her abdomen. Rachel hugged Christina's husband next. "I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thank you," Christina and Dave said together.

Puck chuckled. "Alright, Chris, you get a pass 'cause you're gonna have a rug rat soon, but you owe me a duet on my record."

"I'm pregnant, Puck; I can still sing," Christina shook her head.

"Is that right? Then I think my two favorite ladies are going to have to sing with the Puckster."

"The Puckster?" Rachel and Christina groaned.

"Dude?" asked Dave concisely.

"He's called himself that since high school," Rachel explained. "But it's made an unexpected reappearance…" She looked at her husband questioningly.

"I guess I'm just thinking about which nicknames I get to keep, and which ones I'll use for our future little ones," he grinned.

"Oh, is that it? Thinking of babies now, are we?" Rachel teased.

"Well making babies _is_ my favorite activity," he said as he leered down at her.

She slapped at his chest playfully. "I think we should discuss this at home."

"Can't help myself," Puck shrugged. "My woman is hot."

Rachel blushed. She was still so affected by him.

Christina and Dave rolled their eyes and laughed at the adorable couple.

Puck and Rachel didn't stay at the party for much longer.

And they wouldn't be a family of two for much longer either. Nothing could have made them happier. Both Rachel and Noah Puckerman knew that while they had taken some difficult turns along the way, in the end, they had made the right choice, the right decision, when they chose each other.

...

End


End file.
